So…the end is approaching, rapidly. Glee has wrapped; for the season, for the series, forever, and Tumblr and Twitter are littered with heartfelt tweets from the cast and sobbing Gleeks. Glee has meant so much to me, more than any other television show ever has, and if you’re reading this then I guess you’re kinda invested in the show, too.
There will be time in a few weeks to write a proper goodbye to this amazing show, so for now I just want to give you all a big hug and tell you to ‘hang in there’. Yes, we’re grieving for the characters we love; for the excitement of the new episodes, and for the appearances of our favourite actors. Yes, it can be incredibly upsetting, but it will pass. There will be other shows, and other actors, and new songs which will never get the Glee treatment.
However, Glee will always have a special place in our hearts, and we’ll be able to look back and smile at the adventures that we so eagerly awaited. It will be okay to move on, because Glee will forever be in our hearts, and we’ll always be Gleeks.
Brittana, Artie, the fabulous Mrs Lopez (oh Gloria Estefan, how we’ve missed you!) and Mrs Pierce are in a pretty fabulous barn in north-east Indiana. It is helpfully explained that gay marriage is illegal in Ohio, and also that this was the barn that Brittany was born in. Brittany’s mother explained to whole squeamish story in detail, and the characters were as grossed out as I was.
Because the whole gang is there, of course, they busy themselves with setting up the decorations. Kurt, looking incredible in the swankiest pair of jeans I’ve ever seen him in, is in charge. By the time night falls, Tina is dragging around a bale of hay and complaining that the newbies aren’t talking to her, while Kurt seems to have done nothing but wander around with his clipboard. That boy is a born leader, I tell ya.
Brittany is concerned that a) the hayloft will collapse on the guests; b) that they still haven’t had the final wedding dress fittings and that c) Martina Navratilova isn’t coming to the wedding. I’m seeing her mother’s influence on her more and more. “How’d you cope with wedding planning?” Britt asks Kurt. “We called it off” he replied. To deflect Brittany’s continued comments about his relationship rotations and Walter the catfish, Kurt suggests Burt officiates the wedding. Brittany doesn’t remember who Burt is.
The girls go with Santana and Brittany to try on wedding dresses (most of which are gorgeous) but sadly Britt feels the need to slaughter a chicken because Santana saw her in her dress before the wedding. Luckily for us and the chicken Santana sets the poor bird free, presumably to wander the halls of McKinley forever.
At the Lima Bean, Kurt and his Catfish are discussing wedding suits. Well, Cat is – Kurt is busy telling him that he’s taking Blaine to the wedding instead. Cat is surprisingly calm with this, could it be that he (like the rest of the world) has always realised that Kurt’s heart is with Blaine? And that even if it wasn’t, there was no way fabulous, fruity Kurt should be tied down to a guy with grandkids? Or was he just saving face; I don’t know.
Anyway, Cat gives Kurt a speech about young love and its clichés, while Kurt is obviously thinking shut the hell up so I can leave. And when he leaves, that boy runs to Blaine’s new house as fast as his ridiculously long legs will carry him.
Side note: Chris Colfer, is, obviously, a fine specimen of a young man, but seeing him in full motion will the coif bouncing in the wind is a thing of beauty and should be compulsory viewing. Running Colfer can save the world, Running Colfer can heal the sick, Running Colfer can fix the economy and even get Leo his Oscar (well, maybe not that).
Kurt arrives at the house, where Blainey is wearing a shirt that matches his wall, a rug, and his collection of neon jackets. Kurt breathlessly asks him to go to the wedding, “unless there’s someone else” and Blaine replies “there’s no-one else” (duh) before an Epic Kiss. That popping sound you heard was the echo of Klainers’ hearts exploding with joy, bless.
In the auditorium, Tina is telling the guys that she’s going to propose to Mike. Yes, Mike, her ex, who presumably lives in Chicago and texts her a lot. So yeah, that’s a good reason to get married. The guys are horrified, naturally, except our dear sweet romantic Blaine, who is “Team Chang Chang” all the way. Given Blaine’s idealistic view of love and romance, could we expect anything else?
It’s the wedding day, and the gang and loads of extras are outside the barn, which looks like something straight out of Country Living magazine. The sun is blazing and the trees are green and you can hear the Waltons calling to each other over the mountain. Puck is in his Air Force service dress, because obviously that’s all he’s allowed to wear.
However, costuming niggles aside, we set eyes for the first time on the glorious Pam Anderson. She is everything I’d hoped Blaine’s mother to be; beautiful, warm, and slightly out-of-place but doing a really good job of hiding it. She introduces herself to Carol and Ms Estefan – I’m hoping she’s at least met Kurt – and that’s all we get. Well.
Blaine and Kurt are there too, looking delicious in their wedding outfits, posing as American Gothic with a pitchfork. Kurt is worried his eyebrows are going to get stuck, and they’re both wearing the most adorable frowns. This picture (and various edits) have been circulating Tumblr for days with good reason; it’s everything we love about Klaine – cute, sweet, and just a little…well, you know, it’s Klaine.
In the hayloft, Puck is busy telling Mike how “easy” the Air Force is when Tina approaches. You can just tell by Mike’s expression that this isn’t going to end well. Meanwhile Kurt and Blaine are talking to Burt and Carol about weddings, how Klaine were “young and foolish” (Kurt) but you still have to “take every second of every day and wring every last bit out of it” (Carol).
Brittany is busy freaking out with pre-wedding nerves, and Santana sweetly comforts her by saying that “the rules don’t apply to us”. Unfortunately that doesn’t mean the rule about “something borrowed, something blue” because Brittany is wearing Tina’s blue underwear. Nice.
Sue, who wasn’t invited to the wedding, interrupts them with her gift…Santana’s abuela. Sue, trying her best, had accosted Mrs Lopez at her house and she was now standing in front of her granddaughter, whom she rejected outright not too long ago, wanting forgiveness. Although she still doesn’t believe in two women getting married, Mrs L does believe in family, apparently.
She doesn’t want to be the person who causes Santana pain, and doesn’t want to miss the birth of her children or anything else. Santana threw her out anyway, because frankly – when the first thing she says is how much she hates gay marriage you know there’s trouble a ‘coming.
Wait no, that’s what I would do if it was me, but because Santana is so attached to this bigoted woman she forgives her. You’ll rue the day, my dear, you’ll rue the day.
As the guests take their seats, Sue asks Klaine to follow her as she has a “legitimate Brittana emergency”, which turns out to be two very scary cardboard cut-outs of Klaine in a back room wearing black tuxedos. Brittany reveals that she looked up to Klaine as a couple and when they cancelled their wedding her dream died. “I want my dream back” she says. Kurt’s horrified expression says he instantly gets what she means, but Blaine, bless him, is clueless.
“We have two tuxes,” says Sue, “do we have two grooms?”
You’re crazy, says Kurt, we just got back together and we still need to work on all the underlying issues of why we broke up in the first place (he didn’t say exactly that, obviously, because this is Glee, but work with me) so there’s no question of us getting married until we’re comfortable enough to move back in together (will won’t be for a few months) and then concentrate on our careers and finish growing as individuals so we are fully capable of emotionally fulfilling a marriage which should be two adults choosing to be together rather than two kids barely into their 20s pushed together in the romance of a barn wedding who have yet to fully realise what they really want out of themselves let alone each other. Phew.
“There is no possible way…” says Kurt. “I don’t know” says Blaine. “These last few months without you have been…I love you but”. But. BUT. See breathless paragraph above.
Mercedes and Artie sing At Last as Kurt (wearing the black tux) walks Brittany down the aisle, followed by Blaine and Santana. I must say Kurt and Blaine look unbelievably gorgeous in their outfits, especially Kurt’s, which is actually black camouflage with flecks of bronze. Beautiful.
Burt begins the ceremony in his usual down-home way, and his best line is about having to drive over the state line to officiate as gay marriage is illegal in Ohio. And yeah, I guess that Blaine and Kurt agreed to marry seeing as they’ve changed clothes and all. The couples share their vows, which are sweet and emotional and can’t fail to bring a tear to your eye.
Because this is the Klaine and Brittana wedding, because so many fans have been wanting this for years, and because our sweet, strong Kurt is getting married, legally! here is the ceremony in full. Words can’t do justice to these guys.
They’re works in progress, don’t cha know.
Pierce Pierce, who spent the entire ceremony in the bathroom, gives a wedding toast which quickly escalates into a diatribe about how ugly every girl in the barn is, except Brit of course. He might not be her biological father but there’s a solid gold argument for nurture over nature if ever there was one.
Brittana brought “OTP” hats for everyone – oh Glee writers, aren’t you droll – and they all launch into a raucous performance of Hey Ya. Blaine and Pam are just the cutest, most adorable dancers. A++ casting there for Ma Anderson, guys.
After the dance, Tina awkwardly proposes to Mike, and you can see the poor guy is trying his best to let her down gently. “We have our whole lives ahead of us, and who knows where we’ll be in a year” says Mike, aka the only voice of reason on the entire show.
The mothers, calling themselves “The Troubletones”, have changed into matching dresses with way too many fringes and, led by Ms Estefan, sing I’m So Excited by The Pointer Sisters. They are helped by Mercedes’ wonderful singing and Sugar’s awful dancing.
Kurt, blushing adorably at calling his spouse “husband” for the first time, Blaine, Santana and Brittany are next with an odd choice of song, Our Day Will Come. A nice touch is Rachel getting a smile from Carol; which is taken as permission to dance (and any other things they might do, I suppose). An horrific touch is Puck with his long-sleeved dress shirt rolled up to the elbows. Tsk tsk
Puck has other problems though, namely a very drunk Pam Anderson flopping all over him on the dance floor; cue Puckam fanfics. Oh Blainey, is he your new daddy?
The next day (or not, who the hell knows with Glee time) Artie and Tina are in the choir room discussing the failed Tike proposal. They make the pact to marry each other by 30. Cue Tartie fanfics.
In the auditoriums, Klaine and Brittana – or the AnderHummels and LoPierces as Sue calls them – are standing around because yep, that’s definitely what you do the day after you get married. Go to your old high school. Yes indeedy.
Sue appears with gifts for them both; a month-long honeymoon in the Bahamas for Brittana and a weekend away in Massachusetts for Klaine. A month…a weekend. Yeah, I’m not saying anything about that.
The couples look ridiculously in love, and Colfer is rocking a cat shirt, as they discuss future anniversary plans (although we all know Kurt is planning their follow-up ceremony in New York with specially designed wings and mojitos). Ah, young love. And it’s Glee, so nothing can go wrong, right? Right?
At Last (Etta James) – Mercedes & Artie A
I’m very protective of this song, probably because I’ve seen it butchered on so many reality singing shows. However, Amber’s vocals were flawless as always, and it made a lovely song for walking down the aisle.
Hey Ya (OutKast) – Artie C
Not the biggest fan of the original song, and the audio didn’t do a lot for me either, but I quite enjoyed it in the show. The lively performance was a lot of fun, although there are thousands of poppy songs which would have been better.
I’m So Excited (The Pointer Sisters) – The Troubletones C
As wonderful as it was to hear Ms Estefan sing (finally!) the whole song was a bit too silly. I loved Pam Anderson flouncing around though and she was the best part of the performance.
Our Day Will Come (Ruby & The Romantics) – Santana, Brittany, Blaine & Kurt A-
I really liked this, although of course would’ve preferred Brittana and Klaine to have their own wedding songs. A really sweet, gentle song that fit the mood perfectly.
Kurt’s Blurts & Shirts
I have to say, Kurt (and Blaine) looked fabulous both in their white and black wedding outfits. Kurt’s outfits this episode were especially spectacular but the tuxedos were the icing on the (wedding) cake.
The Kurt solo this week is the wonderful, powerful I’m Still Here from season five. Hummel at his finest.